new partners
by greenpanic6
Summary: after sasori dies pein decides that tobi or madara should be deidara's new partner. what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

this is by first fic ever posted it is set after sasori dies and diedara needs a new partner and Pein thinks it a good idea to let Madara as Tobi be it. But what havoc will be unleashed? Pairing maybe deixtobi former sasoXdei tobixzetsu PeinxKonan and who knows who else

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It was a bad day for the Akatsuki there hide out had destroyed and they had lost a member. Zetsu wondered how there leader would react to this. He called the higher ups of the akatsuki. Pein, Konan, himself, and Madara.  
"Well whats the damage", asked Konan.  
"Well, Saosri is dead I guess finding a new member would be our priority." he looked around at them.  
"Yeah we can move the hide too the ame so that is done but I think Madara you should take the place of the new member as Tobi." Pein voiced. Everyone turned to there leader who to the others was just Tobi.  
"Ok, so Sasori died oh well i never liked the blue skin so that would make Hidan my partner?"  
"No", started the blue haired woman, "Sasori is the red head and his partner was Deidara."  
"The red head damm Know we need another red head. Ok so Deidara is the one with the sythe and stuff cusses a lot?"  
"No that is Hidan Deidara is the blond with the bombs."  
"The blond." he thought deeply, "Oh yes the one that I hired because I thought he was a girl because I didn't want to get called sexist and is like the master of mpuppets got it." he smiled he never wore his mask in front of his inner circle.  
"No Sasori was the master of puppets not mpuppets and Deidara is the master of clay." Zetsu anwsered.  
"What puppets not mpuppets shit I love the mpuppets and clay what? We have shark master and Jashim and paper and piercing and money and ... and dango and now clay and puppets Pein what kind of people did you hire?"  
"I thought-"  
"You thought wrong bunch of freaks no wonder were losing."  
"Whatever just go with Deidara."  
"I like being with Zetsu."  
"I bet" Konan said. Madara shoot her a dirty look.  
"Whatever how bad can it be."

so please review its my first fic so everything is appriacted.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

Madara's point of view

How bad can it be? How bad can it be? Very, very bad, horrible. So this Deidara he never shuts up. So I annoy him just for fun you know. And I know that a lot of the members are not will in the head but this guy is nuts. Ok first he talks about his art non stop. Then he cries about Sasori that's mpuupet boy if you don't know. Then he is mad at him. Then he talks about his art. I'm thinking Sasori may have died on purpose. And he is so bossy. He also talks about hating Itachi. And he hates me cause I said he was a pretty girl. That was just one night. Remind me to invest in some new mattresses these suck hard.

So day two with the blond. He woke me up at six am six am. I hate to wake up early. He said he needed to blow Sasori's stuff up so I don't know I wasn't paying attention so I went to go hide under the pool table now peace and quiet.

"Tobi un where are you I need you to make me a sandwich!" I'm not here I thought. Just go away.

"What the hell do you think your doing hiding from me like that un! I'm in charge of this team yeah and you need to obey now I want a sandwich!" Oh, why couldn't it have been the cheapskate guy that needed a partner.

"Ok sempi Tobi will make a sandwich for you what kind?"

"Will lets see I think tuna salad un, yeah that will be good and hurry up I need to train you next un."

"Ok sempi Tobi won't let you down!" He sat down satisfied with that. I went into the kitchen to fix the sandwich maybe I should just reveal my secret it's better than sandwich-who is sniffing me?

"Is that tuna Tobi?" Kisame asks.

"Yes it for Deidara sempi.. Kisame-san." Dude this is weird a shark is sniffing around me.

"Oh ok then I guess your his new slave then?"

"What I love Deidara sempi he is the best ever!" Kami this is hard I want an Oscar for this. First off I hate him and I am no ones slave shark boy go home to sea world.

"What ever you say Tobi." he smiles a pity smile at me this sucks I think as I walk back with the dam sandwich.

"Here you go sempi!" I say brightly. He eats alright amazingly not with his mouth hands. Which no one told me about. I was like Zetsu did Pein get this person from the freak show he said no got him from Iwa.

"It was ok but next time remember I don't like so much mayonnaise, cut the crust, I like wheat not white, and just do better" and remember the arsenic also I added.

"Ok time to train know I that I am the best with my art and all and you are not very good. So I'll take it easy on you." easy my ass. He is chucking bombs at me and stuff. All I do is scream and run around. He is so mad he is red. And stuff. Finally I get tired of this crap and puff away to Zetsu's green house.

"Zetsu where are you it me." I take off my mask and ruffle my hair i'm tired and annoyed.

"Whats up how was it?"

"Horrible he hates me I hate him I say we kill the shark and I can be the weasels partner."

"He upset of Sasori. He liked him, like liked him."

"I don't care no reason to try to kill me that is insane. I told you Oro was not that bad perverted yes but he wasn't a bad guy." Zetsu grabs me and hugs me he smells like sweet summer grass. I inhale and relax.

"Well I did piss him up. It is fun though." I smiled at him

"Whatever you say."


	3. Chapter 3

ok if i owned naruto then this wouldn't be fan fiction. so i do not own it. i'd also like to thank those who have been reviewing.

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Ok so it's been tres semmanes thats 3 weeks if you don't watch Dora or Diego. Since I became Deidara's new partner. And let me tell it does not get easier. Did you know he talks in his sleep. And the 'un' always there I'm this close to mangekygo shariganing him. And it is art, art, Sasori, Sasori. I have to sit thorugh how Sasori was never there for him. And yada yada. But the great thing about this mask is that I can sleep and no one notices me sleeping. But it also has a huge disadvantage.

Deidara wants to know why I wear a mask. So I told him that's the way my face is. He didn't go for it. At least he is kinda smart. Then I noticed he is been trying to get me to take it off by watching me eat and sleep and I think once in the shower. Eww! But I won't budge I just make up an excuse and run. So far I think it's ok.

I've also been having a lot fun by making them so mad. Like that guy I refer to as Mr. Krabs you know the cheapskate from Spongebob. One day me and Deidara decided to burn his money in a smores roast. He cried like little baby. That was one day Deidara was ok but I don't like him. Then we used that guy with the purple eyes we used his little triangle necklace as a cookie cutter that day Deidara was ok too. But you know just stuff has been going on. But Deidara still annoys me I had to do his shopping.

Deidara's point of view

So Tobi wears this mask why un? I need to know I am naturally the curious type. I need to know it is killing me. Even Sasori no danna showed me his real form. Maybe I should ask Zetsu un. He knows Tobi the best after all.

Tobi POV

So today I am cos playing as a karaoke machine to fool Deidara. This will so work dude how is the evil genius? I am!

Deidara and Zetsu POV

"Zetsu where are you? un." I asked as I walked in to his green house. It was warm and smelled like roses and grass. It was actually great nice very lush and full of different colors.

"Yes" he answered from somewhere.

"Oh I need to know something about Tobi." what does he want to know I wondered to myself.

"What do you want to know?" I asked with a bored tone tending to pruning the white rose bush.

"Will, why does he always wear a mask?" shit that damm question I knew that he would ask.

"That's the way his face looks." come on believe it why does that sound familiar.

"What no tell me why! I'm his partner I need to know!" why Madara was right he is so whiny.

"Will, you see he was horribly disfigured by a fire incident at age of five." So that was it I still want to see how bad can it look."

"Oh I'm hungry so got to run." I have to warn Madara about this.

Tobi

Tobi I know that you are the karaoke machine.

"What is it?"

"I think that Diedara is going to rip off your mask. He really wants to know what your hiding."

"I know is it that bad?"  
"Yeah"

"I knew it was bad when he was watching me in the shower."

"Pervert you know he is gay right?"

"Really gross but he doesn't like me at all." Just then we got a message from Pein meeting. Now you out there may think cool an Akatsuki meeting. Will you must be on more crack than Amy Winehouse to think it is fun. It is not I told Pein again and again to follow Roberts rules to order to run the meeting but no. This is what we do first each member gives a boring speech about there particular fetish. Then Pein talks about what we do and stuff a snorefest.

So first we start with Pein wondering if he should get new studs for his piercing and this was about 50 minutes long. So I got drowsy. Then Konan talked about new origami for about 20 minutes. Zetsu talked about gardening for about 20 minutes that was ok actually then I went to sleep. Then Hidan talked about Jasmine his religion. And going to hell if you don't convert but if Jasmine is the god of destruction then wouldn't be like sunshine and stuff will I don't think its Jasmine might be Jashmin. Then shark and weasel did a joint thing about how weasels and sharks are endangered species. And we should whatever. I don't care. So by this time I was asleep when blondie shook me. This was about art banging and he thrown something at me I screamed damm shark laughed. The end.

The missions I wasn't paying attention until Pein spoke my name Tobi and Deidara I want you two to go observe the third biju. Fine I'm stuck with him for a while kill me. Why couldn't it be him that died the mpuppet wouldn't be that.

Deidara thought this is my chance to see his face.

please review and tobi will come visit you


	4. Chapter 4

i don't own naruto and these anwsers are made up.

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This is my ask about the Akatsuki section. So if you want to know stuff ask Madara I will make him anwser isn't that right Madara? And other members will be dragged out of there hiding if you have some question for them about how they got in. So please ask away in reviews.

"Fine, fine Hey you out there have you ever wanted to know stuff about the birth of the organization you now fondly refer to as the Akatsuki? Then here is your chance ask me Madara and I will tell you all about the dumb mistakes that made us who we are today."


	5. Chapter 5

so sorry for the wait but school gets in the way. ew! anyway i have come to the realization that i can't beta my own stories so if anyone intrested please messsage or something.

_So it me greenpanic6 with the results of the questions ok Madara you said you'd answer so here is one for you_

this first one is **from Nisroc**

_they ask _

**Hey Madara, so tell me, are you danzo or not, cause i seen pics of you and  
danzo and you guys look different, but people still think u guys are the same,  
so what do u think of this?**

WHAT! They think I'm Danzo no way I'm not that guy. Can't you see I'm so much more sexier than him. And what pictures who has been taking unauthorized photos of me was it Pein? This is as bad people who should be doing chem homework but are instead writing stories about me. Who ever thinks I'm him should permanently get honey stuck on them!

_So your not him right?_

NO WAY DUDE DON'T YOU GET IT I'M NOT HIM OK!!!!

Ok so I told my friend will just call her moose because she doesn't have an account about this she wants to know :

**So were did you come up with the uniforms?**

Lets see will they come from the Shringan red and black but, they were supposed to be red and black circles but it they ran out of that fabric. So I had to get the clouds. That's were I met Zetsu at the farbic store.

Will thanks to everyone and Madara. So some back to our story. Next time we finally realize Itachi is going blind. And he mistakes Tobi for lollipop and starts licking him? What will Dei think of this? And what if Kakzu's refuses to pay for glasses or a seeing eye dog seeing eye cats? Kitty no donna? That has red fur? Kisame the lamp?

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please review and next time will be back to more Tobi and his days.


	6. Chapter 6

So here I am it is early morning the day before we go on our mission. I am at our weekly meeting with Pein, Konan, and Zetsu. Now if you thought that this would be less crazier than the meeting with the other members then your wrong. I listened vaguely to the grey eyed man talk about ....stuff did you Pein makes this jiggling sound when he walks got to be the piercings. "Madara-sama?" I heard Konan say.

"Yo"

"So what do you think?"

"I don't think that anyone should get a raise" the woman had a look of pain on her.

"No, about Itachi going blind and that he needs glasses or a seeing eye dog." she explained annoyed.

"Oh, that will I guess glasses or something couldn't hurt?" he really didn't care about this but he could get a handicap sticker because of Itachi, it would rule if he got to park the Akatsuki's black and red van up front all the time. His thoughts were broken by Zetsu.

"No Kakuzu doesn't think that we can afford glasses or seeing eye dog for him." Zetsu said golden eyes locked on Madara.

"Will now what?" ,Pein questioned, "I mean it is obvious he needs glasses yesterday he was talking to lamp he thought was Kisame all day."

"Will, maybe he just got confused I mean I thought that Kisame was lamp once I mean he is made of wood right?"

"That's was Sasori!" all three voices yelled.

"Besides what lamp is made of wood?" Zetsu said.

"Chilllax ok, but, hey wait." again he seemed to get the attention of all three of the members.

"Ok, look dogs eat a lot right?" Madara was eager and looked at there confused faces as they nodded.

"So, if we get him a seeing eye cat that eats less we save money, plus we can get a red furred cat and it can be Wood man's replacement we'll call him kitty no donna. To birds with one stone!" Madara was excited at his stroke of genius.

"Yeah that is genius! All right meeting over!" Pein said. Although Zetsu and Konan thought that seeing eye cats and such would not solve the problem.

Now Madara as Tobi walked out mask on. When suddenly Itachi pounced.

"Oh my Kami! It's a gaint walking lollipop!" as he said that he started to lick, bite, and suck at Tobi's mask.

"Damm it taste so good like orange flavored sugar! Oh what is that it has chocolate and a cream filling! Yes my dream come true!"mean why Tobi was screaming.

"Oh please stop Itachi-san I am not a lollipop!" but he couldn't help but moan and laugh a little at what Itahci was doing.

"You see Kisame, you said dreams couldn't come true." he said to the lamp. Still not giving up the licking and sucking. Finally all the commotion altered the members.

"Hey what is this un?!"

"It's candy dumbass and don't even thing of tasting my lollipop."

"Yeah look that's Tobi so let him go!" Deidara was enraged his face red and flushed. He came to the hallway after hearing a loud thump and then yelling and moaning. In a way he hoped it wasn't something gross but this was just odd.

"It is not it is a tasty treat I will lick and suck it until I eat it up!" as Itachi continued his assault on Tobi.

"What the fuck is he doing!" Hidan called while covered in blood.

"He is trying to eat Tobi un!" by now all the Akatsuki had gathered shock and amusement on there face.

"I guess I'll save him." Deidara said as he went to get Itachi away from Tobi. All the while Itahci was now licking Tobi's cream covered skin. The blond got down and tried his best to pull him off Tobi but it was no use Itahci really liked the way he tasted. All that resulted was Deidara getting his hair tossled.

"No I told you this my sweet.!" finally Konan came out from her hiding stifling her giggles.

"Itachi", she said was authority, "Get off him that is Tobi.". Itachi got up and straightened up himself like nothing had happened. Tobi's mask had gotten snapped in half and he was hiding his face with his hand. Then Itachi got the lamp and said, "Come on Kisame."

"I thought Kisame was on a solo mission for the past two days." Hidan said as Kakuzu hit his side to shut him up.

"Itachi you and Hidan go get a seeing eye cat so we don't have to go through that event again." Konan told the pair.

"And make sure it has red fur." she added.

"But why the hell-"

"Just do it!" and with that final note they went off.

"Tobi come with me to make sure your ok." Tobi followed the only female member down the hall. But Madara knew that it was to make fun of him. When the door closed to the room she began to laugh and fell over.

"It's not that funny!"

"Sure it's not, some guy licking you to death." she manged to say as she handed Tobi a new mask. They had back ups for things like that.

"I guess you taste sweet?" she was still laughing."

"I guess." he said as he stormed off and pushed Pein and Zetsu away they were trying but, failing to laugh. He went into his room and saw Deidara. Great he did not want to here any lip from him. Deidara's eye shoot up and looked at him he didn't have a hint of amusement but oddness.

"Tobi where did you get a new mask from yeah?" he asked softly.

"Oh, Tobi got one from Konan."

"Will are you ok?" why was he being nice and not laughing. This dude is a mystery.

"Yes Tobi is perfectly good."I said as I did a thumbs up.

"Will that was really stupid of him yeah. But I'm glad that you are not hurt yeah." this is akward I thought Deidara and all and asking me these questions. Luckily we heard Itachi and Hidan come back.

So we both went to see what was up. Itachi was holding a red haired cat that had just received an Akatuki collar from Pein.

"Akatsuki from now on this is our new member Kitty no donna it will replace Sasori no donna as the red head in the group and will also be Itahci's seeing eye cat." the other members simply looked at each and thought this organization sucked but oh will.

"No he is just a cat how can he replace Sasori no doanna?" Deidara shouted enraged.

"Because Deidara get over it." Pein said as Deidara ran into his room and slammed the door.

"Will come on Kitty no donna it is time to meet Kisame."he said as he ran to to the lamp.

"Tobi go comfort your partner."Konan said. This was the last thing he wanted to do but did it anyhow.

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so i dont know the charecters. next how will tobi comfort dei-kun? and who loves kitty no donna? please review and you get cyber kitties!


	7. Chapter 7

i dont own the charecters ok so yeah

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Tobi walked back to his and Deidara's room. There was the sorrowful blond with his head down.

"Whats wrong sempi?" I inquierd.

"It's just that I really miss Sasori no donna and now that cat is taking his place I hate it un."

"I'm sorry sempai." I say as I sit next to him on his bed. His sunshine hair smells nice wow it's like vanilla.

"Tobi are you sniffing me?" shit I think to myself.

"No will, yes Tobi thinks that you smell nice." I said, cheerfully.

"Thanks Tobi at least I have one person who cares about me un."

"It's just that dumb Uchiha!"

"I hate all Uchihas at least I wasn't paired with one I think I would just die!"

I think what else to do. So I grab him and hug him. Why is he so warm and why am I so warm. I feel my face heat up. But, his face is a beet red. Then will as long as playing the game I lift the bottom half of my mask up and place a kiss on his cheek. The kiss is short and sweet and, are there fireworks in this room?

"Will, Tobi thanks for showing me you care now get some sleep we have a mission tomorrow un.".

Deidara watches Tobi go to his bed and take the covers and fall asleep. That was a good kiss he thought. Tobi was an interesting person. He needed to see his face and will maybe kiss him again just to see something.

At breakfast on the day they set forth on their missions. There was kitty no donna with Itachi and Kisame. "See Kisame he is my eyes",He said as the cat meowed toward a box of cereals, "Smart most likely the smartest and cutest member of the Akatsuki."

"If you say so Itachi." his parnter agreed.

"Kitty no donna senses someone looking at me with distaste", he leaned into the cat and nodded his head as it meowed him, "Deidara what's the matter jealous that kitty no donna is the cutest smartest member?" Itachi spoke in a mocking tone.

"No" there was diffidently tension in the air I couldn't have cut with my electric saw. So I had to do something lets see ask for the salt? No I'm eating pop tarts or, I could I got it!

"I think Deidara sempi is the prettiest member ever!" I yelled. Damm it did not work just weird stares.

"Fuck another fag at our table."

"Will Tobi", Itachi had become very good at voice identification on count of the blindness,"That is because you where a mask and can't see how cute this cat is he doesn't compare to your boyfriend Deidara."

Look here little nephew I can see a hell a lot better than you! I am the founder of the Akatsuki, the founder of all Uchiha's and so forth, number one bad ass of all! And, anyway he is so not my boyfriend I don't like boys! No matter how soft and sweet smelling there hair is and how sexy his body is .... and dam Mr. Krabs we need central cooling!

"Will alright one out burst in enough I suggest you all head out." Pein ordered. I could have sworn that Konan and Zetsu were laughing at me.

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so this is shorter but the next one will be better this will set the scene to dei and tobi's mission what madness will they incounter as they have to a rave and peaunt butter lovers party for them to go unoticed. and will dei finally see tobi's face. please review cyber peaunt butter for does that do.


	8. Chapter 8

remember folks these are not my charecters they belong to the naruto creator. except kitty no donna he is mine!

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Today we set off that is to say me and Blondie. I am sacred for life. Why yous ask, this person is insane at home, on a mission I'm going to end up dead. Right now he is screaming to hurry up.

"Come on Tobi why are you going so slowly we will never get there un!" he said it was sort of a whine scream really annoying. Then he got out some clay and stuck it into his hand mouth and started chomping on it. It was the shape of crow. He made a hand sign and made it bigger.

"Ok, lets go Tobi." he said as he hopped on it. What he expects me to ride that it was in his mouth!

I am not going to sit on someone's spit covered clay vomit.

"That's ok sempi Tobi thinks he shall walk."

"Walk you can't un. It will take to long get on now Tobi!"

"No, Tobi loves to walk in exercises your body!" that is a good lie.  
"You can do that on your on time it will take way to long to get there that way and I'll lose you and get in trouble you are getting on!"

"No sorry sempai." I say with sadness in my voice.

"That is it!" he suddenly lunged at me and grabbed me. Then we were sorta wrestling each other on the ground.

"Come on un get on Tobi!"

"But" he pinned me down and hoisted me over his shoulder. He forcefully but me on the bird and get this get this! He grabbed some rope and decided to tie me up. Like a hog or something.

"Sempi let me out please." I pleaded.

"No Tobi is a bad boy."

"Tobi is a good boy everyone says so."

"And now Tobi is a lying bad boy un."

We rode all the way to the village that way this was insanity I know I will make kitty no donna my partner Deidara can be Itachi's seeing eye person.

Mean While with Itachi, Kisame, and Kitty no donna

"Good we can take rest." Itachi said. He took out some fish and through one at Kisame and another one too Kitty no donna. Both ate it happily.

"Now with kitty no donna you and me on a team we are unbeatable. You now what else kitty no donna looks a lot like Sasori only cuter"

"I agree Itachi-san we are the best." all three took a nap with Itachi sleeping on Kisame's stomach and kitty no donna sleeping on Itachi's stomach.

Back with Our Heroes?

We finally made it and there was a huge sign that said welcome to _Third Annual Peanut Butter Festival!_

"Oh, sempi can we go! Please can we go! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

"No way!"

"Your not going to the Peanut Butter festival? That is odd everyone always goes." said some guy.

"Just so we can blend in." yes I won I love peanut butter it is the best.

Deidara thought maybe he can see his face by making him eat peanut butter.

The fair was all decked out in PB. There was peanut butter ice cream, peanut butter dipped apples, peanut butter cookies, peanut butter brownies, and fried peanut butter.

There were also peanut shaped ferris wheel, peanut shaped go carts and a peanut shaped roller coaster. Yes these people loved there peanut butter.

I looked at the fair thinking this is nuts no pun intended. Who eats this much peanut butter what if someone is allergic oh anyhow, at least this gets us out of doing work. Madara thought to himself.

As the night progressed and the sky deepened in color the stars and crescent moon came out to bath the fair in light. It was pretty Tobi had to admit with all the peanut shaped lights. During the night Deidara was nice enough to buy him some peanut shaped ice cream. It was a little creepy because he watched me eat it through the hole in my mask. We walked around and tried a few more peanut themed foods he had to admit that it was pretty good.

"Look sempai the tunnel of peanut love with real peanut butter instead of water." I read, this will really piss him off. I already see his face all red.

"No way un! That is so not happening Tobi!" by this time he was making a scene with his rant and people were starring at him.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Tobi will be a good boy!"

"I said no!"

"Hey come on he said please you must be the worst girlfriend ever!" said some girl. Now more of the crowd was arriving to see and agree with the girl that he was really being mean.

"I'm not a girl!" there were more people because of all the screaming blondie did.

"Ok, ok come on Tobi." he said with a defeated tone.

We got on a peanut shaped boat and somehow floated along even though this was peanut butter. We sat at our own corners.

"Tobi can I see your face?" not this again no you can't.

"No Tobi has a horrible face."

"Look I know you must feel bad about it but I promise I won't laugh I'm just curious." his tone was gentle and sweet. And, for some reason I was melting on the inside. The tunnel had dim lights that were pink and red. It illuminated his face perfectly the blues shone even bluer and his hair shimmered even blonder. I can't be thinking like this. Why am I thinking like this.

"Tobi is sorry there are just to many painful memories." and for some reason the lying hurt.

"I am sad that you can't even trust me like that. I mean you showed Zetsu."

"Maybe later sometime." I don't why I let that slip I just did.

"Ok the ride is almost over so lets go on the ferris wheel next." I can't believe that he won't let me see his face. We got off the ride and headed for the wheel with peanut shaped seats. It flashed in lights that were in a sequence it was pretty. The ride stopped at the top and I looked over at Tobi. I needed to see his face if I caught him off guard then maybe. All or nothing. I quickly leaned in and took off his mask and saw his face it was handsome and pale with almond eyes I but our lips together.

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so here is another chapter i hope its ok so please review


	9. Chapter 9

i do not naruto it is true.

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"Hey what is this? Your face is not ugly!"

"Yes it is but you are hallucinating look a unicorn!"

"I'm not following for that again! Tobi what is this?" Damm that Itachi for using that line on him. Lets see I need another lie I mean distraction.

"Deidara, can we take this somewhere else please." I said using a much more serious tone that he never heard me used before.

"What un?"

"Yes somewhere else like a hotel room?" yeah just silence we where starting to come down from the ferris wheel.

"Ew now your horny too?"

"Horny what? Wait your horny?"

"No, Come on I'm sick of peanuts." we landed and walked out off the ride. The Peanut Butter Festival was about to end.

When some dude came to us and said "Peanuts are nothing! Nothing! Without jelly!!!!!!!!! do you understand?" damm he is crazier than that Hidan dude. The guy had brown dingy hair everywhere. It looked like he bathed maybe last century and for some reason had jelly all over himself.

"Do you understand ,I am brother Raspberry, of the Jelly lovers and every year! Every year since the creation of the Shinobi villages. We have to endure these peanut people!"

"Don't you think that your a little overexcited about this un? It's just stuff you spread on bread." That was the wrong thing to say now the guy is crazier than that Naruto kid.

"Just stuff you spread on bread?! How dare you insult the Jelly!!! Jelly! "Come tomorrow night to the Jelly Rave and see what the Jelly is about or quake with fear of the Jelly Sama!"

"I think-"

"Sure Sempi and Tobi will love to come!"

"Excellent, then Jelly Sama will spare your souls maybe you won't go pantry of no return. Be one with the Jelly." he said as he walked off. Good a distraction a jelly loving fool.

"So that jelly huh-"

"Jelly un don't think I forgot about you. What is the deal with this?"

"The deal with what Sempi?" I have to sound innocent.

"Like hell you don't know with what. The face and how come your talking all different?"

"Sempi have you been sniffing glue again?" I remember someone doing that.

"That was you! Come on why did you lie about your face being ugly?"

"Because I thought it really was ugly." I said in a sad tone. Which is not really true but he can't know.

"You're but; wait you...you have the Shargin?" Shargin right I knew I forgot something.

"What I stole Itachi's contacts." he'll believe that right he is blond.

"Come on another lie! To your own partner?"

"Not like you wanted to be with me anyway always talking about Sasori."

"That is not true your not that bad better than anyone else in there."this was a strange conversation I thought as we walked along to the hotel. I was thinking about everything that had just happened. But hey he kissed me.

"Hey why did you kiss Tobi?" I really wanted to know why it was so weird. And why was I feeling weird like I had just sucked a bunch of warm air my hands were tingling.

"Because, because it was the place you know all lit and the peanuts."

"Ok so you lied too now."

"There was no real reason I just wanted to it felt right at the moment." his voice faded as we continued on the starlit night there was a warm breeze now. This was making me all happy inside but really happy I kept playing the kiss over and over. It was just a kiss not even five seconds long. But I swear that earth stopped but it was more than that the light stopped shining for those seconds. The air molecules stopped. Maybe even the planets stopped rotating and the sun stopped it's fusion. Why did it do that if I kiss him again will it happen? Maybe it was just a mistake, maybe it was those stupid peanuts.

"Were here." called Deidara. We walked into the lobby of a cheap looking motel. Something happened Deidara was talking about something or other and then he waved me to follow. The room had one small bed, a lamp, a night stand, a table with two chairs, a closet, and door that led into a even smaller bathroom.

"Hey why is there only one bed un?"

"Kakuzu didn't want to give us money for another bed. Didn't they tell you?"

"No un who was supposed tell me?"

"I think Konan. I'll sleep on the floor."

"You don't have to just stay on your side of the bed ok?"

"If you say."

"So, who are you?" this is it I could just lie about it all but some unknown force was telling me not too.

"I am an Uchiha. Madara Uchiha real leader of the Akatsuki and accomplished paint baller."

"What an Uchiha!? And your the real Akatsuki leader! Paint ball really we got to go sometime. I don't believe your the real Akatsuki leader and you don't even act like an Uchiha."

"Will I am I only hired you cause I needed a blond."

"What I thought is was beacause of my art un?"

"That was a bonus see Akatsuki does not discriminate against any race, gender, or religion.

"How do you mean?"

"Ok, look there is Kisame half fish with blue hair, Itachi blind the handicap one, Konan is a woman, Pein has piercings and has orange hair, Hidan is a Jasminest."

"Jashinest."

"Oh, right, then Zetsu has green hair and plant like, Kakuzu is tanned, your the resident blond, and Sasori was the red head but he died so I got the cat it also helped Itachi see.

"That stupid cat un."

"I didn't think that it would be so annoying sorry."

"So what was Orochimaru?"

"He was the snake like albino gay person."

"Oh, that is interesting it has nothing to do with talent un.

"No some talent you were the best blond and so forth."

"So Zetsu was the best?"

"No Zetsu was just the only plant thing we could find. I met him at a fabric store."

"What un?"

"I know that this is a little odd Deidara but that is the way the Akatsuki does it's inner workings."

"Ok but why are you hiding?"

"Oh that see if Itachi or anyone else sees me they will know I'm alive and that is a problem. See I was alive since the time of the first Hokage and also Itachi was the one who killed all the Uchiha's so I am one and he will most likely try to do the same. I also am not a fan of the Uchiha's."

"Your that old? But you look younger than me. Great this just my luck this is Sasori no donna all over again." he said all this and collapsed onto the bed.

"I think it is time to go to sleep after all tomorrow night is the jelly rave."

"You really want to go to that un?"

"Hell yes I think this Jelly sama is the new thing." we both got undressed it was a little uncomfortable because I usually just sleep in by boxers. Apparently so does Deidara.

"So we are going to sleep in our panties?"

"Panties un? So your also a pervert I'm wearing boxers duh." indeed he was, he was wearing transformers boxers. They were black and had the Transformers sign all over them. I on the other hand black boxers with the bat signal on the but area. I sneaked a look at him he was a good looking guy he had nice abs and was just nicely toned. His skin had a very light tan maybe a light mocha. He laid down and looked at me to get in. I obliged and crawled in next to him.

"Goodnight Dei kun."

"Night Tobi un."

Even though we said we were going to stay on our own sides of the bed we didn't. I ended snuggled up into his side. I tried to snuggle closer not really knowing why. But it didn't matter because he didn't mind.

We awoke hugging each other. When I woke up I kissed him on the lips. And guess what it was the same feeling again. The world stopping and now it got softer. See I always imaged the world to be cold and rough. But kissing him it felt warm and soft.

* * *

Hello all this Tobi here with next times thing it is time for us to vote for employee of the month! it is down to that kitty no donna and Deidara. who will be the winner? Tobi hopes for Deidara but who knows.

meow this is Kitty no donna here to tell you to leave reviews.

Hi un so this took along time so sorry there might be a christmas thing un. so be on the look out for that!


	10. Chapter 10

So tonight is the jelly rave thing. I have never been to rave or anything jelly oriented. But it sounded like fun. It is just I wanted to go with Deidara. So I was like what should I wear. What do I you wear to rave? Lets see I think it should wear pants. What else a shirt. Yeah, this is going no where. What to wear what about a jeans I guess. I grabbed a pair of really tight jeans that Konan had talked me into buying. They were shiny and black. I got to remember not to sit in these pants. Then I picked a red fishnet with a red top. And some boots. I got to admit I looked good. So makeup why not. I put on some dark eyeliner and red glitter. I also sprayed some red stuff in my hair. Wow I wonder what Deidara is going to wear. I hadn't seen him all day. Finally I heard a knock on the door it was him. He was wearing some tight, shiny black leather pants. He was wearing just a black fishnet on top with a bright pink studded belt. He also had light blue arm warmers. He had black and blue boots. They were shiny and metallic. "You ready un?"

"You bet." we got to the place where people were yelling, "Praise the jelly!"

"Hello and welcome to the way of the Jelly-sama!"

"Hi this is Tobi and I'm Deidara."

"Hello so help yourself to any jelly."

So we did we walked around and found people dancing covered in jelly and getting high off jelly. It was weird. "So do you want to dance un?"

"I don't dance."

"Come on just follow my lead un!" so we walked out to the dance floor and he started pressing himself against me. This is awesome. Dei felt good against me. I just leaned on him and stuff. The best part was how no one cared who we were. Everyone was in their on little world. It was just us. But it hurt too because I knew would have to return and act the way we always do. He must of sensed that because he asked, "You ok Tobi?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Come on you want to get some air?"I followed him out of the dance place to the night air. It was nice an cool compared to the the inside I could breath. Tonight was cloudy and the moon's crescent shape could just barely be seen. "So what's on your mind?"

"When we get back we have to forget this." I said somberly.

"So un. It's going to be fun when we keep it a secret from everyone else!"

"Yeah, I guess. Actually it does seem fun." Deidara always cheers me up. The rest of the night we danced and ate jelly off each other. That was the best. I spread some grape jelly on his face and kick and enjoyed slowly licking it off. He liked it too. But tomorrow we had to go back hey wait what was this mission about? When we woke up the next morning I asked Deidara, "What was the point of the mission?"

"I'm not sure un." he said trying to remember.

"I guess we can make it up." so we tracked our way back to the base to make up stuff about the mission. Finally we got there. I was a little nervous of what to say but, I was the leader. We walked into the Akatsuki door and found Konan waiting for us.

"So, how did the mission go?"

"It was great!" I answered her. She smiled at us and asked.

"So then the information was collected on the three tails."

"Yes!"

"Then come with me Tobi and tell leader what you know." I followed her unsure of what I was going to tell Pein but I'll wing it!

"So Madara how did it go?"

"Fantastic, we got a lot of info on it."

"Like what?"

"Ok, so the thing it likes cupcakes with pink frosting, favorite dance is the Hussle, likes the color black, is half Jewish, favorite show is Lost it loves Sayid." what else could I say. "Favorite band Panic at the Disco, and it likes waffles. So it was a success."

"Do you even know what your were supposed to be doing?"

"Not really."

"Ok whatever I'll just send Zetsu. Anyway it is time to vote for employee of the month." I hated doing this. No one ever won! Everyone always voted for themselves. So it was a tie. I think Pein wanted to do this because he thought one day he would win.

"So guys tonight we are going to vote employee of the month again. I vote for myself."

"Not a surprise I vote for myself too." Konan said.

"I vote me." Hidan said.

"I vote for me Kakuzu." see I told you waste of time!

"I think that I will vote for Kitty no donna." my idiot nephew said.

"Meow!"

"Looks like he votes for himself too we have a winner!"

"Wait un I vote for myself."

"It doesn't matter Deidara Kitty no donna still has two votes."

"I vote for you too Sempai!"

"I vote for the Kitty no donna too." Kisame said.

"Another fucking thing I didn't win! I vote for Deidara just because I am in a bad mood!" Zetsu was kinda upset.

"So there is tie again so we have to go to. Sudden death over time!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pein shouted.

"So who dies?" Itachi asked.

"No one we vote for the two nominees."

"So what is so sudden about? And why is it death?" a confused Hidan asked.

"I just wanted to sound dramatic."

"So I think I will vote for the cat."

Konan voted next, "I vote for Deidara."

"I vote the fucking blond."

"Deidara" Zetsu said.

"I vote for me."

"Kakuzu it has to be Deidara or the cat."

"I don't care."

"Fine I assume that neither of you would want to change your vote so hold on I'm counting. I guess you win Deidara!"

"What do I win un?"

"A cruise ship vacation with a member of your choice. So you pick."

"Tobi I guess un." inside Deidara was so happy. Him and Tobi on a cruise ship.

* * *

here is another chapter i have no idea how this will end. r&r and enjoy for some ramern!!!!!!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

The cruise was not a cruise it was an old boat on a lake. Madara thought. Kukuzu was so cheap. Why did he put him in Akatsuki?

"This looks horrible un!" Deidara yelled.

"I know if this the prize we should of let the cat win.

"Will let's make the best of it un. Which is the last words Deidara and I spoke…. Kidding. Ok, we got on the boat but it fell apart. And, we got wet. Alright we need a hotel.

"This is horrible un my hair."

"Your hair look at this style I have no way I can get the spikes back up." So we checked into a small hotel in looked nice. It was cozy.

"So what should we do?" I asked Deidara.

"We could go to the crafts there is some cool art un."

"Will ok." I agreed. The craft fair had different stuff made of like wood and other stuff. But, Deidara was happy. It gave me a great idea Akatsuki craft night! I am sure everyone would love that. Deidara brought so weird thing. It looked like a dead wood chuck. Then he made it explode dude why is my life so weird? Later, that night we got back to the hotel. Deidara kissed me.

I really did not mind at all. I kissed his soft pink lips that smashed with my red lips. It started off like this. Then I pushed my tongue into his mouth it was and wet. The mouths on his hands started lick at my hips where he had but them. The contact was heavenly. We had to pull away to undress. Quickly we attached back to each other. I drank in his naked form of lean muscles his blond hair over his back and rolled over his shoulders. Again our mouths found each other. My hands searched all over his body feeling the way his muscles moved under his skin that was soft. The heat between my legs yearned for his touch. His manhood was hard and waiting for me to address him. I took his length and began rubbing it with hands. I put in my mouth.

"Ohhh!" he moaned. I sucked him in my mouth and licked every inch of his manhood with my tongue not missing an inch.

"Un." He called out. I swirled my tongue over the head.

"Yes un!" know I sucked hard and took all of his length in me. Deidara's hot seed spelled in me. I drank it like it was fine sake. He done made his way down and put his mouth around my penis. His mouth was lukewarm and very wet. He sucked hard. I moaned and fisted my hands in his hair. It was delectable the feeling he gave. I thrust into his mouth wanting all the contact and more from him. My body was flush and ran with electricity. Still I needed more. He sucked and licked the underside of my cock.

"Yeah that's it more." I couldn't control myself as I fucked his mouth hard. I felt the electric feeling collect in me for my release. I closed my eyes and felt my release and saw only white.

The next day we left that was fun on to new missions.

**AN**

Why I have not updated is twofold. One I hate the way I write. Two a computer virus erased everything. I think I want to finish things is because I think people should look back at where they were and see how they changed.

Also fail at sex scenes my first ever though.


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